In raising our children we do not realize how we can be hurting them. When I was growing up I remember how my mother (bless her heart) used to tell me you didn’t get the dishes clean, you didn’t scrub the floor right, you can’t do that and the list went on. She had no idea what she was really doing to me. She thought she was teaching me and it was her way of trying to get me to do things the right way. WRONG, WRONG, WRONG!!!! The secret to my happiness was going right out the window.
What I was learning is that I could never do anything right. After awhile I just quite trying. Yes, I was a bit of a hard teenage to raise. Hey, I figured that I couldn’t do anything right, so I might as will have my own fun. Might say I was like whatever makes me happy, I’ll try.
One thing that is really important to any child is the approval of their parents. Children need to know that their parents approve of who and what they are. This is one very big secret to happiness when children becoming adults. This movie really makes a great point of approval and understanding. Just click on the link, Teddy Stallard Story. You are going to love the story.
When I grew up I married a man that was verbally abusive. Why? Because that was my comfort zone. I was use to be told that I couldn’t do anything right. History was repeating itself. After about 10 years of this I finally started to figure things out and decided that I could do things right, that I did have brain and it worked pretty darn good. I learned from a class that I took when I was in Mary Kay Cosmetics that her mother always told her; “You Can Do It!” That got me started to thinking. I can change my thinking. I can choose to be happy.
Yes, I did get my thinking straightened out, even thought I ended up with a divorce on my hands, but hey, it sure was worth it. I was choosing happiness. No one tells me I can’t do something anymore. Like I taught my girls, if there is something you want and it is not going to hurt anyone else or take something away from someone you go after your dream. YOU CAN DO THIS! As you seen in the Teddy Stallard story how true this is.
No I do not hold this against my mother, parents are not perfect, none of us are, and she was doing the best job she knew how to do. After all her mother died when she was 4 years old, so she was kind of winging it when it came to raising children and she had 7 of us little buggers. Always remember; “you are mature when you forgive your parents for what you think they may have done to you. “
Please when it comes to those precious little one remember to let them know when they do things right and if it isn’t just right say; “Great job, but I would have done it this way.” By wording things this way they can then make a chose and see there is a better way. Take note of what they are good at as the teacher did in the Teddy Stallard Story and encourage them. THEY NEED YOUR APPROVAL.
IF YOU HAVE SOME EXPERIENCE YOU WOULD LIKE TO SHARE ABOUT YOUT CHILDHOOD, PLEASE LEAVE YOU’RE COMMANTS. I WOULD LOVE HEARING ABOUT THEM.
P.S. Yes, I did have a father around, but he just followed my mother’s clue. What can I say!