How Single Mom’s Are Sexy Warriors

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 Dear Single Mom,

Whether you know it or not…

You are a head of the game and stronger than you realize.

Your plate is over loaded (Hell it isn’t even a plate it is a platter.)

You feel the weight of the world on your shoulder and have ever reason in the world to feel this way.

Does anyone care?

Hell no…

They look at you and say, “Why should I feel bad for her, she is the one that made the wrong choices and got herself into this mess in the first place.”

 They make it sound like you did it on purpose.

Not so much….

  •  Shit happens and people change or we just plain marry the wrong person.
  •  Maybe the father of your kids drinks too much and you couldn’t take it anymore.
  • Maybe he liked to fool around on you and you finally got smart and said, “enough of this crap.”
  • Maybe he was lazy and you got tired of trying to hold him up.
  • Maybe he is not nice to the kids.
  • Maybe he verbally abused you or was physical abusive.
  • Maybe he was never there and you got tired of being alone.

Whatever the reason is, pat yourself on the back…

Because you had enough balls to get out of the mess…

Now is the time to look and concentrate on the positive side of this shitty situation.

Yes there is a positive side…songle mom 3

After all you did get rid of the A hole.

  • Now you get to learn how to unstop a toilet.
  • Fix the plumbing if the occasion calls for it.
  • You always knew you could mow a lawn if you had to and even edge it.
  • You have now learned to fix a sprinkler head if you are lucky enough to have a yard.

If not, maybe you should feel lucky because you don’t have to do all that outside work.  (You don’t have time for it anyway.)

You finally found a good baby sitter and they aren’t costing you your whole pay check and she loves your kids. (Grandma’s do make good sitters if you are still looking for one, even if they are someone else’s grandma.)

Yes, it is going to take time to rebuild your life, but it will happen.

Take it one day at a time…

  1. Don’t worry about tomorrow; it is going to be there when you get there…
  2. Don’t try to jump into a new relationship right away.  Your kids are your main priority right now.
  3. Find out about yourself and why you may have made the mistake in marrying this person in the first place.  There is a reason this happened and it is very important you figure this out, so you don’t make the same mistake.
  4. Enjoy those little moments with your kids and don’t worry about screwing them up because of the divorce.  Know body is a perfect parent.

And so you know, even kids with both parents get messed up…

This is a good thing too, because when any kid becomes an adult they have to find something wrong with the way they were raised.

This is called human kid behavior…

“Somebody has to be the blame for me being screwed up,” is what they are going to tell you later in life.

So as a single parent you don’t have to take credit for them being screwed up, it is your ex’s fault for not being there or because he is such a dirt bag.

Seriously, your kids are going to turn out just fine.

Maybe even better than fine, because as a single mom you are teaching them hands on when it comes to solving problems, being grateful for what they do have and what real love is all about.

Many 2 parent households can really mess up their kids by always giving them everything they want.

Where your kids are getting what they NEED.

They can always look forward to something, because there are still things they WANT, that have to wait.

Work is another good thing.  They are learning to work together and take care of each other.  When it comes to helping out around the house, they know firsthand how this works, because mom has to hold down a job maybe even 2 jobs at a time.


They learn to cook, clean even if it is the toilet and they are learning how to do laundry.

Single mothers are strong hardworking ladies, because of the situation your kids will also become survivors all there life.

So instead of looking at the situation in a negative way, start concentrating on the positive side of being a single mom.

  • By the way when the kids go to bed you can watch whatever you want on TV.
  • And there isn’t another person around to clean up after or account too.
  • You can even paint your bedroom pink if you feel the need.
  • NO man cave needed.
  • It is easier to cook meals.

As for the sex…

Was it really that great when you were married?

Get yourself some good girl friends and some   wine (as a single mom you can afford that, you can find a bottle for about 5 to 8 bucks) and enjoy yourself once in a while. (Maybe it will help take your mind off the sex part)

  So hold your head up high and pat yourself on the back.

You had enough sense to get out of a bad situation, when there are many women that stay put just because they think it is easier.

YOU ARE A WARRIOR AND SEXY AT THAT!

You took the hard road and it is going to make you and your kids stronger, better and tougher.

Congratulations and Hugs to you!

 

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Comments

  1. Hi Debbie,

    Inspirational indeed 🙂

    You are SO right in saying all that you did through this post. Single moms are doing great and they are warriors in the true sense, battling their own battles and doing a very good job out of it – hats-off to each one of them.

    I know there are times when both parents together can’t do as much as a single mom can do – somehow they get that double strength and power when they are alone, which otherwise is shared or left on the husbands part. I’ve a few close relatives and friend’s, so have seen the difference in them, before and after their marriage. I think they are coping SO well.

    Not to mention the independence and freedom to live life as they want. Yes, it’s NOT easy to raise kids single handed either, but those children learn much faster as they see their moms struggle and they mature up in a much better way too. Yes, sometimes it backfires, but that happens even with both parents raise a child, isn’t it?

    Thanks for sharing this inspirational piece. Have a nice week ahead 🙂
    Harleena Singh recently posted…How To Improve Your Writing Skills in Four WaysMy Profile

  2. Hi Harleena,
    Thank you for the kind words. There is one draw back of being a single parent I have found. When you find that special person the second time around you have to make sure they are OK with your new learned independents and take charge personality.
    I have had to learn when to back off and that I don’t have to handle everything on my own. It can take patience and understand from that new person in your life.
    As you have said in some of your blog post that good communication is really important, so that the new relationship does not break down, because the single mother isn’t learning to share responsibilities.
    I have also found with my girls since they have gotten married the men in there lives have to understand how close there relationship is with each other. And the kids from a single mother also become quite independent. Actual the guys in my family understand it very much and they laugh and enjoy our closeness and independence. It is really cool.
    However they refuse to play some games with us when they ask personal question, because we do know to much about each other. (we can beat them every time.)
    Thank you again for stopping by and your kind words. They do mean a lot to me, because of your wisdom.
    Have a wonderful weekend,
    Debbie
    Debbie recently posted…How Single Mom’s Are Sexy WarriorsMy Profile

  3. I love this post Debbie. So true! I’ve been a single mum for longer than I can imagine. It feels like most of my life! I’ve even forgotten what it was like having a man around. But you know what? I’m happy and I love it.

    Being a single mum makes you strong, confident, caring, giving, a good listener etc. It teaches you a whole new set of skills needed to raise your kids the right way. It’s not easy. But nothing in life worth anything good is easy. 🙂

    Thanks for sharing this inspirational post. 🙂

    • Hi June,
      Nice to have you stop by. Thank you.
      Glad to hear that you are a survivor and was wise enough to get out of a bad situation.
      You are right, being a single mum can bring out the best in you. It does teach you a whole new set of skills that you never new you had or could do.
      Your kids are luck to have a wise mum as you.
      Thanks for sharing and hugs to you.:)
      Debbie
      Debbie recently posted…How Single Mom’s Are Sexy WarriorsMy Profile

  4. donna merrill says:

    Hi Debbie,

    What a great inspiration you are! I am a survivor from an abusive relationship and chose to leave that situation. Yes, I was a “victim” for years, and believed I was nothing.
    But then…I left. That was the first step and from there I was a single mom. What I taught my daughter by leaving her father for his abusive behavior was NEVER take any crap from anyone.
    Support yourself and be strong! It doesn’t matter what you have to do to get there, eventually you will.
    Single mom’s gain strength along the journey.

    Great stuff!

    -Donna

    • Hi Donna,
      Nice to have you stop by and share with us and thank you for the kind words.
      Thank heaven you had the strength to get out of a bad situation. Your daughter has to be very proud of you and what a great example you have given her.
      Thanks again for sharing, because with stories like yours it can give other women the courage to leave a bad situation.
      Bless and hugs to you. 🙂
      Debbie
      Debbie recently posted…How Single Mom’s Are Sexy WarriorsMy Profile

  5. Shalu Sharma says:

    This is a very interesting way to look at single moms. Many of them do a good job of looking after their children.

    • Hi Shalu,

      Here in the USA we do have a lot of single moms and it gets pretty rough for them at times. Sometime I think they do a better or as good as a job with there children as a 2 parent house hold.

      Do you find many single mother house holds?
      Thanks for sharing your thoughts. it is always appreciated.
      Debbie
      Debbie recently posted…How Single Mom’s Are Sexy WarriorsMy Profile

  6. Debbie,

    It’s my first time here and I love the energy of your posts. You have a way of inspiring and helping people feel like they rock- which we both know that single mom do! I love single moms! They are all my hero!
    Love,
    Jodi

    • Hi Jodi,
      Thank you for stopping by and sharing your thoughts. Yes, i do have to give single mom credit, they can rock and they are survivors.
      It is a hard road to walk, but it sure bring out the best in you and makes you strong.
      You must know some single mom. They do need our support, so thanks for seeing them as heroes.
      Have a great weekend,
      Debbie
      Debbie recently posted…How Single Mom’s Are Sexy WarriorsMy Profile

  7. Hi Debbie,
    Thanks for visiting my blog and all the kindness you have shown…love you for taking the initiative.

    This is a fantastic post, I salute you for raising three kids single handedly…I know it is not as easy as it may sound from this inspiring post. I have gone through a lot of agony…seen all the struggles as a child, having lost my father to an accident and the cultural background I come from, it was quite difficult to carry on, with the societal pressures my mom had to face…to marry off a daughter than educate her, to lessen her own burdens [ which she vehemently fought] you can’t even imagine how difficult it was to survive without the support of a man, who had left a lot of property but she was too naive to handle it!!

    Now when I look back, I am so proud of my mom, who herself came from an educationally backward family but knew the importance of higher education SO well and groomed three of her children so strongly…with all those sacrifices she had to make.

    There is NO doubt single moms are Warriors!
    Balroop Singh recently posted…How Faith Grows…Only One Way to Absorb it!My Profile

    • Hi Balroop,
      No worries i think your blog is great. thank you for stopping by here. Always great to have new eyes and opinions.
      Thank you very much for sharing your childhood story. Yes, your mother had to be a warrior. It would be hard enough to loss the one you love the most and than have to stand strong to take care of your children.
      Having a good man around does make life much easier, but we do find out what we are made of and capable of when left by ourselves and children to content with.
      So glad to hear that your mother was a survivor and did raise good children. By reading your blog I can tell that you have a gooood heart.
      Blessing to you and hugs,
      Debbie
      Debbie recently posted…How Single Mom’s Are Sexy WarriorsMy Profile

  8. Hi Debbie,

    I have to agree with the others, very inspirational. I’ve often admire the strength of single moms. They are supermoms to me, or at least the good ones are. 🙂 How they manage to do it ALL and not have a meltdown is beyond me! Truly some very powerful women. Kudos to them!

    • Hi Bren,
      Having been a single mom myself, let me tell you that we do have melt downs. Usually we go off by ourselves like when the kids are in school and have our meltdown then.
      Actually it is like anything else, you do what you have to do and take it one day at a time. Just like any stay at home mom does or even like a working mom. These days everyones plate is full, so you handle things as they come down the road. Rain, snow or sleet, you keep moving in a forward direction. When you get stuck in the snow you lay down the kitten litter and hope it works. 🙂
      Thank you for stopping by and thanks for the kind words. They do keep me going.
      Debbie
      Debbie recently posted…How Single Mom’s Are Sexy WarriorsMy Profile

  9. Maneesha Malhotra says:

    This Post is really dedicated to all Single Mom’s those are so young But single due to bad luck ! We see many single moms those are Nursing their kidns without husband ! They are such a great Ladies. I hats off for them.

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