How My Heart Bleeds For Mothers In Today’s World

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braveI have to hand it to you mothers today with young kids. I take my hat off to you and your bravery.

Why do I say this…

Let’s start with the so called parenting styles.

We have…

Helicopter Parenting…Putting this simple; this is parents that hover over there kids. They overprotect.

Attachment Parenting…Created by Dr. Sears; is the style of parenting that follows the theory of secure, trusting attachment to parents, resulting in secure and independent adults. Bed sharing and baby wearing are both big parts of attachment parenting. (Have no idea what baby wearing is?)

Baby-Led parenting…This style is about keeping baby close at all times, feeding on demand and cosleeping. Many think here that Dr. Spock is saying, baby is boss. Parents used this parenting back in the 70’s and 80’s. All they got was a spoiled brat that turned out being a parent’s worst nightmare when they grew up.

Natural parenting…This is living and parenting responsively and consciously, with a gentle method of discipline.

Tiger parenting…This is coming from Amy Chua’s book,(Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother). Very tough and strict on putting their kids academic career before anything else.

Free-Range Parenting…Letting children explore the world at their own pace. Not planning or organizing activities for kids.

Serenity parenting…This is like the Serenity Prayer. Emphasizes on a child’s nature more than nurture.

WOW…..

When I was a parent of small kids I didn’t have a title for my parenting. I just parented with my knowledge, love and gut feelings.

You also have to put up with the on lookers…
You know when you’re out in public and little Tommy decides to throw that fit. Everyone is looking at you to see what you are going to do.

Ready with their cell phone in case they have to call the police or video you, because they think you are being a bad mommy.

When my kids were small I would stand there and tell them to let me know when they were through acting like a brat, so we could find the manger and they could apologize for making so much noise in his or her store. (Didn’t have to do that to many times before they learned.) Then I would get the applause from the on lookers.

When it comes to activities…

You better be putting your kid in preschool as soon as possible or they are going to get behind all the other kids. (And you may be judged on what preschool you chose.)
And if you don’t or can’t afford a preschool you are the worse parent in the world. Your kid is going to be traumatized for life.

Sport activities are a must now days…

And this starts at the age of 3.
Give me a break, by the time your kids really need outside activates you are going to be so tired and burned out from hauling them around you’ll hope you never see another ball of any kind in your life.

I remember when my girls were in dance. Get them from school. Shovel some food down there throat and off we would go. Get home and hurry to do homework, shower and then bed. Or taking one to soccer, the other 2 to dance. Back to the soccer kid and get her and back to dance.

I’m tired just thinking back to those days. It would have likely killed me if I would have started that kind of schedule when they were 3.

Next comes the doctor….

You can’t start them on food as babies until you check with the doctor.
Excuse me… Is he the one that is getting up during night every 3 hours to feed that baby. Not so much.

If the toddler isn’t talking by the time they are 1 1/2 or 2 they better go see a speech therapists. Give me a freakin break.

I had one kid that didn’t talk, because her sisters were always talking for her. Shut the older kids up and make the little one speak if they want that glass of water.
You have to understand that one day that quite kid is going to talk and then you are going to wish he or she would stop talking.

Breast feeding…

It was your choice and no one put you down for your choice. Now days the hospital doesn’t even want to give you a bottle and formula if you choose not to breast feed.

The good old Jone’s
And of all things you are supposed to keep up with the JONE”S. If you don’t your kid is the most deprived kid on the planet.
What a crock of bull…

remindSo how do you overcome all these eyes watching you raise your kid and judging every move you make?

  • Stop Listening…
  • Stop reading about parenting…
  • If you have to listen and read take what works for you. If it sound stupid it most likely is.
  • If it is not something you believe in throw the book in the trash.
  • When on Facebook don’t believe or even worry about all the mommy’s out there that make it sound like their kids are perfect. (No kid is perfect).

There isn’t such a thing as a parenting type when you go by your values, morals and what you believe in.
Start being you and realize you are a good parent…
All that other crap makes you feel like you are the world’s worst parent.

You get what you tolerate…

What it comes down to…

If you want to listen to all the crap out there about parenting go for it, but you are most likely going to drive yourself crazy.

• As long as you do what your heart says….
• Adjust for your kid’s personality…
• Love then lots with the right discipline thrown in…

Your kids are going to be OK and you are a good parent.

Stop all the fuss and go with the latest parenting trend that is found at “The Daddy Complex.com” The CTFD method.
Which means CALM THE F*CK DOWN.
With that said, What is your parenting term Called?

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Comments

  1. Hi Debbie,

    Yes indeed, though a lot is talked about the right and wrong way of parenting, and just as you mentioned, there are SO many parenting styles too – what it all comes down to is what really works for you.

    No parent can fit into any one of them, nor should they try to become someone they are not, or copy other parents. I think each parent and child relationship is so beautiful, different and unique. Parents learn so many things on their own, when they become parents, through the experience, once they raise their own kids.

    I feel you are your own best teacher, and the way you raise your child, no one can. Yes, you must learn from all possible resource and try to better your parenting skills, but always follow your gut feelings, isn’t it?

    Thanks for sharing. Have a nice weekend 🙂
    Harleena Singh recently posted…SYPS: Resolve Lifestyle Problems to Make Your Life BetterMy Profile

    • Hi Harleena,

      Very true Harleena, “what it comers down to is what works for you.”
      My one daughter has stopped reading FB, because she says that it makes her feel like a bad parent the way some of these mothers talk.

      Giving those kids lots of love and keeping them going in the right direction when it comes to respect and values is very important.
      Thank you for sharing your wisdom. You are a great mom.
      Hugs,
      Debbie
      Debbie recently posted…How My Heart Bleeds For Mothers In Today’s WorldMy Profile

  2. Hi Debbie,

    This makes a very interesting and enlightening reading. No two kids are alike and no single type may be suitable for a child. Parents have to be flexible but if they go blindly by the book, that may backfire! I agree with you…such a book that doesn’t appeal to your senses should be trashed. Those parents who lay down too many rules and just follow the books can never be the best!

    Child rearing and grooming is no easy task but if we prefer to listen to our instincts and be flexible according to the needs of the child, which a parent know best…I think you can be a very loving and a successful parent. I have met a lot of parents who lacked real parenting skills and the consequences were very evident in the behavior patterns of their children. So some skill are essential but how parents choose to develop those is purely their choice.

    Thanks for sharing a wonderful article, warning about most of the pitfalls.
    Balroop Singh recently posted…Have you felt the Emotional and Therapeutic Appeal of Music?My Profile

    • Hi Balroop,

      You said it here Balroop, “No two kids are alike.” That’s what all these books don’t take into account. All 3 of my girls were different and I had to handle them according to there personalities.
      Being flexible according to the child’s needs is very important.
      Yes, if you don’t feel you have the skills for parenting it is important that you do some reading and see what you agree with and what you don’t.
      I really don’t believe you can put a parenting style on parenting, because like you say, their are no 2 kids alike.
      Thanks for sharing your thoughts of wisdom and have a great day.
      Debbie
      Debbie recently posted…How My Heart Bleeds For Mothers In Today’s WorldMy Profile

  3. Hi Debbie
    While parenting our kids we forget the fact how our parents looked after us and just try to do things in own ways on the premise they were the old timers. The basic soul of parenting remains same even if you live in any era or region.
    Yes but we do remember the sweet memories of being parented and forget the bitter one. This spirit we shift in our kids as well and this process goes on forever. This is called the rule of nature.
    Thanks a lot for sharing this wonderful post where I found quite new classifications of parenting and learnt a lot from this whole post. Thanks again.

    • Hi Muba,
      Glad I could share some of the new classifications of parenting with you. I to find it very interesting. I had know idea I had to classify my parenting when I was raising my girls. (Boy was I lucky.)
      Yes, you do remember the sweet memories from our childhood and were also taught the does and don’t in a very affective was.
      Thanks for sharing your thought and opinions. Always love that.
      Debbie
      p.s. I did comment on your green day tomorrow. Love the post, but not sure if the comment went through. let me know. Thanks
      Debbie recently posted…How My Heart Bleeds For Mothers In Today’s WorldMy Profile

      • Hi Debbie
        Your wonderful comments at my blog are glaringly visible and added a lot of value there.
        Thanks a lot for coming by and sharing your awesome views. Hope to see you around.

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