Boy, when I was a single mother there were days that I thought dying would be easier. Than I would look at those little faces and know that I had to survive and keep going no matter how hard things were.
Yes, I was a single mother and I have the t-shirt to prove it.
Some people have no idea how rough things can get and then I stop and think…
How long has it been since I have even had a hug from a full grown person? (And that is a small thing compared to everything else.)
- Maybe you have an ex that doesn’t pay child support.
- Maybe your ex is a dead beat father in every way.
- Maybe you lost your loving partner to an accident or illness.
It doesn’t matter…You are in this world all by yourself with these little mouths to feed and keep a roof over their heads.
- You are not sure where there next meal is going to come from.
- If they are going to have a roof over their heads next month.
- If the utility bills are going to get paid, so you have heat, etc.
- You consider getting rid of the phone, because the only people calling these days are bill collectors.
- Maybe you are holding down 2 jobs or even 3.
Here is how your days look:
You get up in the morning a little early just so you can have a few minutes to yourself.
You say to yourself, “Oh, this cup of coffee taste good and just sitting here for awhile is nice.”
Now you are ready to get the kids up and ready for school.
You feed them with what you have in the cupboards.
Throw some kind of lunch together for them.
Drop them off at the sitters, because you have to be to work before they start school.
Get to work and work for 10 hours. You do this so you can work a 40 hour work week in 4 days, so you can have a little more time with them on that extra day or get house work done.
Get off work and pick the kids up at the sitter.
(Maybe you take them to an activity you can’t really afford, but feel it is good for them.)
Go home and start dinner while the kids are doing their homework.
In between stirring the soup you help one or two kids with homework.
Clean up after dinner and get the kids bathed and ready for bed.
Finally you get to bed and remember, shit I forgot to have them brush their teeth.
You look around and see that you do have 2 extra bodies in bed with you and think…
This is good; it is nice to have a little company in bed.
You hug them, and go to sleep knowing that the sun is always going to come up in the morning and this is ok, because you are blessed with these beautiful kids in your life.
You ask yourself….
How did I ever get myself in this mess?
Then you remember… I married that douche bag.
And then you look at your kids and say to yourself, “This wasn’t a mistake, because I have them.” And smile knowing you are growing stronger every day.
Yes, the thing about single moms is we do get stronger and tougher.
- We find that we can solve any problem that comes our way.
- We learn to take one day at a time.
- We learn to appreciate what we do have in our lives, like food to eat, roof over our heads and clothes on our backs.
- We learn that memories are what counts, not material things.
- We learn that we can have fun with our kids doing little things like chasing each other around in the yard (if we are lucky enough to have one) or the park.
- We learn to live simple and know life can change quickly, so enjoy every moment.
As single moms we are survivors and our children are strong.
They grow up to appreciate what they have and know what to be grateful for.
They know what working together means and you can always count on the love.
They learn that it is what is inside a person that counts, not what they look like or wear on the outside.
There is one thing that I don’t want to leave out and I believe this is true of most single moms.
We learn to pray and become more spiritual.
There are those times we just can’t come up with an answer…whether it is finances or problems with the kids or just wandering what we are going to eat tomorrow.
Help can come in many forms and unexplained ways, but it does seem to come even if it is at the last second.
I remember one time when the rent was due and I was $400.00 short. I prayed and prayed. Low and behold there was a knock on my door. It was my Pastor. He handed me a check for (You guessed it) $400.00 and said, “We thought maybe you could use this.”
Life is hard as a single mom, but we learn a lot…
- Like how to fix a leaking water faucet.
- How to mow the lawn.(If we are lucky enough to have one).
- How to put furniture together that needs assembled.
- How to kill spiders instead of screaming and running.
- How to be the good guy and the nice guy when it comes to raising our kids.
- We learn that wearing the same clothes year after year isn’t so bad
- We learn that having fewer shoes; you have more space in your closet.
- We learn to keep going no matter what.
- We know how to unstop any plumbing and fix the pipe if need be.
- We can shovel show in the winter time even after dark. (A new pair of gloves would be nice for Christmas.)
Don’t ever under estimate the power of a single mom…
You name it and she can wear that hat. Yes, she gets tired and a little lonely at times.
So if you know a single mom, don’t judge her, but go up to her and give her a big hug. Let her know she is a good mom and life has its valleys and hills, and that mountain she is climbing will turn into a meadow some day.
Are you a single mom or do you know one?