Can We Really Trust The Blog ‘Scary Mommy’?

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 Here is a very popular blog about mothers and it has thousands upon thousands of readers.

I ask myself WHY?

After doing a lot of research on this blog I wonder… is it popular, because misery does loves company?

Don’t get me wrong, Jill does a lot of good with her blog and has some very funny post.

 Here is what Dr. Drew says about the site…

She has an area of her blog for confessions.  Let me tell you it can be rather entertaining or scary. 

Some lady just confessed to cheating; another is getting upset with her 5 month old for not taking a nap.  Yet, another is trying to have a miscarriage, because her husband doesn’t want the baby.  Still another hides in the bathroom and another wished she had married for money not love.

The confessions go on and on.  Many of these women sound like they should never have had children, let alone even gotten married.

Is this how we Modern Day Parent? 

Get together and bitch about our lives and how terrible motherhood is.

·        Complain about the way we look.

·        The mess the kids are making. (As the author of this post says, ‘at the end it is the memories that really count, and so true.’)

·        How tired we are.

·        The poop we have to clean up.

 When my middle daughter was born, she was very small, only 4 lbs and 2 oz. (No she was not premature.)

The doctor had told me to feed her every 2 hours, so we could put some weight on her.

I did this, but I could never get her to eat more than 2 to 4 oz’s at a time, even when she was 6 months old.

I took her too many different doctors and all they would tell me is that her digestive system was immature; because of how small she was when born.

She would cry a lot and didn’t want me to hold her.  The only way I was able to soothe her crying was by putting her in a stroller and pushing it back and forth.

Her father and I use to take turns sleeping some nights, because she would cry so much.  I learned to sleep and cook with her in the stroller.  I could push that thing back and forth in my sleep.

At 10 months she got sick and was vomiting and had diarrhea.  She went from 18 lb to 13lb in less than 24 hours.  Yes, she was put in the hospital for 8 days and they still said it was her digest system.  She would grow out of it.

Some days I just cried with her, other days I tried everything I could do to make her happy.

She learned to walk at a year carrying a bowl, because we never knew when she would have to vomit. (It was pretty cute seeing this little bitty baby carrying around a bowl and she knew how to use it, Bless her heart).

And the diarrhea, I sure wished they would have made diapers with elastic in the legs back then.  There were red or green spots all over the carpet from a leaky diaper. (Most of the time I was only feeding her jello water, because that is what the doctor had told me to do.

When she was 1 ½ years old my sister read an article about food allergies.  I called an allergy doctor for children and got her in right away. (It helped, because when I was on the phone she was crying and when they said it would be a few weeks before they could get her in, I started to cry.)

The end result was she had food allergies.  Milk and dairy were the worst.  I could not believe the difference in my baby once she was eating and drinking the right foods.  She was happy and slept.

The reason that I am telling my story is it just amazes me the way these modern day parents talk about the trials of parenthood.  They are so lucky to have healthy happy babies and kids. (I was so relieved that what was wrong with my daughter was easy to fix, even though it was very hard to cook for her.

(Lot of rice; and reading food labels was a pain.) 

Many parents go through healthy issues with their kids, be happy that you have healthy normal kids that know how to be kids. 

I just checked in on the confessions again. 

Now a mother is saying, ‘she is happiest when someone else has her kids.’ Another quite her job 8 months again to stay home and now she wished she still had her job.  Yet, another is still in the clothes she wore to bed and isn’t going to change for the day.

With these kinds of attitudes and feeding off of each other know body is going to come out happy.  I ask…

 ‘Why would you keep reading all of this and posting confession?’

Do these mothers need too, ‘get there shit together, stop feeling sorry for themselves since they are the ones that decided to have these babies?

What is really scary to me is that it looks like most of these mothers live here in the USA, so I have to ask myself…

“Are these mothers raising the next generation of serial killers or are they themselves going to resort to violence some day?”

All kids want is …

1.   To be loved and appreciate their innocents.

2.   Answer there simple little innocent question.

3.   They want us to guide them and teach them that mistakes are just learning experience.

4.   They don’t want to be spoiled, but they do know how to test us.

5.   They want us to be firm, so they will feel secure.

6.   They want us to understand their fears and let them know it is OK.

7.   They don’t need all those things, they want our time and understanding.

Ladies is it time you clean up your act, and realize life isn’t about you anymore?

 Is it about a new generation that deserves what your parents gave you? 

üLove and understanding.

üYour wisdom and teaching them moral values.

Is there any chance ladies that you can go take a shower, wash the poop and vomit off yourselves and put on some decent clothes?  

You may be surprised how much better you feel about your kids and yourself.

In this post, “Dear Judgy Mothers on My Website…” Jill expresses

There are thousands of websites where you can read beautiful and poignant posts about that love day after day after day. Occasionally, you can even find them here. But more often that not? We need to vent about the other stuff. The not so beautiful parts of motherhood.”

So what is your take on this? 

üDoes it make us better mothers when we can vent and read about the negative parts of motherhood?

üAnd modern day parenting and how child birth can mess up our body parts forever?

üOr are we better off reading positive articles about parenting?

I do believe that some humor has to be added to parenting to keep our sanity at times.  

To me motherhood is an honor and very rewarding part of life. 

But Hey, That’s me, what is your take on this?

 

 

 

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Comments

  1. I read Scary Mommy for many reasons. Sometimes I love the current post, sometimes I need a laugh, and sometimes I just want lots of people to see my latest blog post, so I leave a comment. I always get a few clicks after I do that.
    I do think there are times when all of us need to vent, or feel comforted by knowing others have faced what we are facing, and that it won’t last forever. If all I ever read were cheery, uplifting parenting posts, I’d feel like a total failure, because I know my life is not all puffy clouds and roses. Both kinds are needed, in my opinion.
    Also, there are many mothers who have no one to turn to, no friends or family, no one to talk to. I live on the other side of the world from my family and have no close friends here who I can hang out with, so I turn to blogs and Facebook communities. I know motherhood is a blessing. I’m grateful for my children. And I think it does make me a better mother when I can talk about difficulties I’m facing or some problem with my kids, and get some feedback on it, even if from a total stranger. Why should we try to pretend the negative situations don’t exist?
    I think Jill has done a wonderful job in providing a place where mothers can feel comfortable enough to say their deepest thoughts out loud. We don’t know each of those mother’s stories. We don’t know why they wrote (or did) what they did. What they are feeling from the site is love and acceptance, no matter what their circumstance. While I don’t read the confessional much myself, I’m sure it is a help to a lot of people to be able to get off their chests things they have held onto for lack of place to spill it. Maybe just being able to say what they are feeling is the beginning of their finding a solution to whatever they are facing.
    I enjoy the blog and will continue to read it.

  2. Hi Mercy,

    Thanks for sharing your thought about Scary Mommy, blog. I do understand what you are saying. We as mothers need to know that we all can and do make mistakes and it is OK.

    I think Jill might haven’t taken down one post that I really had trouble believe she even post. It was some mother that was sews a vagina out of cloth to make a point. That one really through me. I don’t know about you, but when raising kids I don’t have time to sit in the bathroom with a mirror and check this out. This lady even put hair on her work of art.
    If you worried about how your body looks or worried about what someone else my say about the body after kids, why are you having them. Guess I get a little confused with some of the post.
    Thanks again and I am glad that you enjoy Jill’s blog. There are some post I too find funny.
    Debbie
    Debbie recently posted…Can We Really Trust The Blog ‘Scary Mommy’?My Profile

  3. I agree with Mercy… The Scary Mom blog makes me feel normal for the occasional screw-up on my part. Some of the confessionals are a bit over the top, but they too make me feel a bit better about my parenting/marriage.
    I would, however, recommend a grammar check on your own posts before you bash another blog’s posts. Can we really trust a blog that doesn’t use the most basic grammar, punctuation, and spelling rules? There *is* a difference between their, there, and they’re; and between through and threw. (To name a few… There were way too many to list them all here)
    Scary Mommy is a place that moms who aren’t perfect (including people who don’t use proper spelling and grammar) can go to vent. I think most of them are healthy, legitimate ways to let some of their frustrations out.
    I will continue to read (and occasionally post to) Scary Mommy.

    • Hi Jennifer,
      Sure hope I spelled your name right Jennifer. As for my grammar guess I better have a talk with Micro Soft Office. It usually tells me when I mess up. Or is it that you have a better version than I do. If that is my problem please let me know, I can up grade mine. Since you are so good when it comes to the grammar I really appreciate the help. We can all use help in many things at times.

      I was not running down Scary Mommy in any way, I was trying to get others opinion of the blog. Information is knowledge!!!

      I have found that the more negative information a person reads, the more negative thoughts run through a persons head.
      Yes, it is good to let out frustrations, because raising kids is a very hard job, but very rewarding. Rather than venting about it to feel better, mothers could get some good exercise if they took up kick boxing instead.
      Anyway happy reading Jennifer and thanks for the grammar check. Don’t have a problem if you keep me informed for my errors.
      Debbie
      Debbie recently posted…Can We Really Trust The Blog ‘Scary Mommy’?My Profile

    • Jennifer….. Amen! You pretty much took the words right out of my mouth 🙂

  4. Hi Debbie,

    I’m glad you brought up this topic today because just like Scary Mommy there might be many more online that we don’t know, who are passing around the same message in brief – that motherhood isn’t all that easy or it has it’s down sides and allows you to really let out.

    While I do agree that when you become a mother you pass through a great deal, and if you are a single mom, it’s worse. However, there are certain things you just take in your stride and not complain about them – things like the body parts, or how they have to clean the poop and all those things. That is part of being a mother – period! And if you have such hassles, then why become a mother at all! I’m sure everyone knows these things ARE going to happen so they are prepared, then why sit and cry over it later?

    Agreed, such blogs perhaps are needed as they are a place for mothers to vent out their feelings or have a laugh once in a while because mothering 24×7 isn’t easy and you DO need a little time away too, and it’s good that they have a small confession corner and forum kind of thing, instead of having posts about them, which might show motherhood in the negative light.

    It amazes me though that how mothers are able to find time away from their kids and family to sit and pour their such feelings. If I had this kind of time at hand, I’d rather devote it to doing something for my kids or home. These are very normal things that happen to every mother, so what’s the big deal to write about it and discuss it to such extremes. Certain posts or confessions that cross the limit, as you mentioned in the previous comment, I wonder if they should ever be allowed.

    Being a mother to me is an honor, and my kids are my pride. All that I’ve done for them was and is my duty and I don’t think I’d have it any other way. What I learnt along the way is what is called once in a lifetime experience, which I feel all mothers should go through.

    Just as you shared your story, I could write pages about my kids too, and that goes on to show that we care for our kids, and that’s how mothers should be, instead of crying over how much of headache their kids cause them or what a pain they are, or they don’t listen, and don’t eat etc. We all know that! It happens! So, if you are mother, find ways to make it work for you and your child, or seek help from others. That’s positive parenting, and you need to spend time on doing that instead of going ahead and talking about things that don’t work for you.

    I do hope more mothers take it as a challenge to raise their kids and learn something from your post.

    Thanks for sharing. Have a nice weekend. 🙂
    Harleena Singh recently posted…Coping With Divorce Made EasyMy Profile

  5. Hi Harleena,
    Thank you for your honesty. I to have found it an honor to have children. I always love how we can listen to them and learn.
    When it comes to complaining about motherhood, the problem that I see is the more we complain the less we see the wonderful side of being a parent.
    You say, ” instead of crying over how much of headache their kids cause them or what a pain they are, or they don’t listen, and don’t eat etc. ” I agree very much and the time that is wasted thinking about the pain they are a mother should be smiling about the unconditional love they bring into our lives.
    As for the body parts, hey they all go south sometime, whether you have kids or don’t. With the joy my kids have given me I’ll take the banged up body anytime over not having the experience and love kids give.
    Thank you for your wise words of wisdom. Your children are very luck to have a mother like you.
    Blessing and you too have a wonderful weekend.
    Debbie
    Debbie recently posted…Can We Really Trust The Blog ‘Scary Mommy’?My Profile

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