What do you think those 4 words that I have mentioned would be?
They are: “WE NEED TO TALK.”
Those four little words scare the crap out these wonderful gentlemen we love. Now I realize if someone says to us ladies, “We need to talk”, we would just say, “OK, what do you want to talk about?” And be very interested in what needed to be said.
Not so much for these guys! There first thought is, “What did I do wrong.”
When it comes to men they are always trying to please us, make us happy and take good care of us, so when these 4 words are spoken they feel like they are not doing their job right. That they have failed.
There first and only thought is, “What did I do wrong?”
The question is when you want to a talk how should you approach this? After talking to some husbands and getting there take on this, this is what we need to remember to do.
Start a conversation with them, talking about your day and asking them about their day; Making it very casual. After the conversation goes for awhile you can than stay, “Oh, by the way” and lead into what you want to talk about.
Let’s say you have been having a lot of trouble with little Johnny when your man is away from home and you really need to talk to him about this. He comes home after a hard day at work and you are pulling your hair out because Johnny tied the cat in his little wagon so it wouldn’t keep jumping out. He took crayon and wrote on the walls and the list just keeps getting bigger as the day wore on.
You need some help and you need it now. Hubby walks in the door and you say, “Hi, honey how was your day?” You calmly listen and then he asks you how your day was. You start by telling him the good parts, maybe thrown in a little humor that you are still alive and then say, “Oh, by the way, I could sure use some help or advice on what to do with little Johnny.”
See how you are not using those 4 words, but at the same time you are going to be able to have a talk about this situation, without scaring the crap out of poor hubby.
You are now turning “We need talk” into letting your wonderful man save you. And that is what he wants to do. Men want to be your knight in shining armor and that is what you have done for him.
He is going to love and appreciate you all the more!
Let’s take another example of how to handle those 4 words. He gets up on a Saturday morning and is just taking his time and you are thinking about that to –do- list. You just want to get the show on the road, but he just doesn’t seem to care. Finally you are running out of patience and about ready to say those four words “We Need To Talk!”
Stop yourself and start a conversation. Something like this, “It sure is a nice day and what are your plans for the day?” He will tell you, but it is not what you would like done. That is when you bring in “On, by the way” and list some of the things you feel need done. You have gotten your point across without scaring the crap out of him. He knows that you want those things done, but you haven’t made him feel like he has failed or did anything wrong.
Now for the big example: The marriage just isn’t looking good. He is working or always busy with something and you haven’t been spending anytime together. He has no idea how you are feel, but you are ready to explode. You can start by getting him to talk about work or sports (guys love that one) and just keep the conversation casual. After awhile say, “Oh, by the way” and proceed to tell him that you are feeling left out. (What every your emotions are telling you; now is the time to express them). He will appreciate you opening up to him without making him feel he has done something wrong.
With that said, how many times have you used those 4 words without realizing what emotions it brings to the surface for your loving man?
I know that I have used those words before, but I have erased them from my mind after I was told about them.
How do you handle the situation when you need to talk to that special man of yours? Guys I would really appreciate your take on this, how would you like that sweet lady of yours to approach the subject when she needs to talk?
Let’s start the conversation by giving me your thoughts on those 4 words, “We Need to Talk.”!
Thank you for sharing.