10 Rules to Follow so You Don’t Have a Cheatin Man in Your Life

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Ladies have you adopted a passive attitude toward your marriage, since that ring has been put on your finger?

When you do this you take the chance of losing him sooner or later.

Have you adopted a passive attitude in your relationship? 

You know that attitude.  Don’t have to worry about the make-up, saying the right things; don’t even have to worry about the sex anymore. 

Hey I can pretty much turn into a slob or a bitch if I want too.  The ring on my finger says it all – “He is Mine”

Thinking the work is done and you can do your thing without any consequents.  I’ve got an eye opener for you ladies. 

There is always some bitch out there that has her eyes on him.

You have to water, weed and fertilize that garden sweetie!

If you do your best in your relationship day in and day out showing him the love you’ll be a happier woman and reduce the chance

That:

  1. He might cheat on you
  2. That you might end up in divorce court
  3. That you will screw up your children

Here are the 10 Rules for you lovely ladies to commit to if you want your relationship to last a life time

1.   Communication
Be positive, kind, supportive, friendly.  Empathetic and compassionate messages to your guy are much better than critical, negative, angry and unfriendly messages.

Tell him that you love him every day.  Make time to talk.  Have a smile ready for him when he arrives home.  Let him know that he is LOVED by your communication.

 2.  Be Fun
      Find a couple of fun things to do every week.  Kids can join in once in awhile, but as a couple you do need your adult time alone.

Dinners out or even going to a sports bar and watching your favorite sport.  Try your hand at dancing.  There are many fun things for couples to do and get involved in.  Go have some fun and laughter!  After all it is good for the soul and the heart.
Don’t forget to throw in the sex!

3.  Find the Truth

During a disagreement, find some truth in what your guy is saying.  We all know that they can be a little misguided, but yet there has to be something he is right about.

Let him know that you understand why he might be hurt.  This is going to be more affective in the long run.  NEVER make him feel you are attacking his beliefs.  Guys think different than we do and if you pay attention trust me you can learn plenty.  (Just save the laughter for when he isn’t around)

4.   Show him affection everyday

Comfort him with your touches, hugs, kisses, holding his hand, and end it with a night of cuddles.  With physical contact he is going to feel closer to you, because that is the way a man work.

Remember back to the beginning; isn’t touching what helped bring you together in the beginning?    Men crave the affection, so keep it part of your daily routine.

5.   Sex is a part of expressing love.

To women romance means love, to men romance means SEX. 

Sex is what makes a man content and provides him with his image of masculinity.  His self-confidence hinges on love making.  By using your body you are showing him your love.  It makes him feel like you worship him. 

So get the Sex going ladies, he is going to be the most loving caring man and you are going to have a winner in him.  He wants to please you through sex.

I have heard many men complain that once the ring is on the finger, sex goes right out the window. 

What the hell are you thinking? 

Sex is fun and if you don’t have fun making love get some help.  You can’t get him to marry you and then expect to keep him if you aren’t putting out.  There is always that shadow (other woman) waiting to help him out with this.

6.  Be a student wife.

Yes, I know you are wondering what the heck I mean.    You are a lover in training.

When it comes to marriage people behave the way they think they should.   Doing this you stop listening, and giving feedback.  Men do not come with a training manual, so it is up to you to learn and use the feedback that you get from him. 

By listening you become a better friend, more responsive, give more support and it puts more romance in your relationship. 

You can never graduate of this position if you want to be the best wife you are capable of being.

7.  Listen more and talk less.

Ladies I realize that this one is hard.  I know that we all like to talk (anyway most of us ladies do, I know I do).  You have to learn to be responsive to what he is saying matters most to him.

When he said something is important to him, make it important to you.  This can be talking about his work or worrying about taking care of his family.  It maybe even loving you in the right way and filling your needs. 

He wants to know and feel like he is the greatest husband or father in the world. 

That you are proud of him.

8.   Let him know what he is doing right.

Come on ladies you like to know what you are doing right, not what you are doing wrong. 

He feels the same way.  He wants to know that you appreciate him going to work every day.  He wants to know that you appreciate the little things he does.  Taking the trash out, helping with the kids or mowing the lawn and shoveling the snow.  Even if it’s just picking up the dinner or milk on the way home. 

Men have to be appreciated.

When you start showing your appreciation, he is going to start appreciating the small and big things you do.  Don’t let him down or some floozy lady is going to pick up the slack for you. 

Appreciate, appreciate and appreciate some more!!

9.  Questions to ask your man. 

Am I meeting your needs? 

You can’t always know whether you are making him completely happy unless you ask.  He is going to be honest and if you are falling down let him know you care and are going to work a little hard.

Now if he said, everything is fine, check with him later to make sure he was being honest.  The question can throw them a little the first time. 

This question is very important to them, because it shows them how much you love them and want to make their life happier.

10.   Let him know what you love and like about him.

Bring out the positive.  We all have good traits.  Let him know why you fell in love with him.  Why you respect him and admire him.

 If you feel he is reliable, trustworthy, fun, considerate, good looking or a good father for goodness sake let him know.

Maybe he is great in bed, romantic let him know.  All men want to be a great lover!

 Many times we look and speak about the negative in a person, but when we turn that around and start talking about the positive the man just gets better. 

Don’t you respond better when people refer to your good traits?

Follow these 10 tips and you are going to be the happiest wife in your neighborhood. 

So stop the whining and complaining about your man and make him feel like he can walk on water. 

He won’t be looking at any other woman in town.

He will have everything that he ever wanted when he gets home at night and feel like the luckiest man alive.

I dare you to take these 10 rules, go change your life and get back to me about how you are the luckiest lady there ever was.

Are you leaving any of these tips out?   If so, ‘how is that working for you’?  Love to know in the comment box Ladies. 

And for you gentlemen is your lady doing a good job or not so good?  Yes, guys you can use the box below also and forward this post to that lady of yours.  That way she is going to know she better ask you question number 9.

 

 

 

 

 

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Comments

  1. Wonderful post Debbie!

    I so agree with all the points you mentioned that WILL stop your man from cheating on you or going elsewhere. The best thing you can really do is just love him unconditionally, which I know for some ladies is easier said than done because their are ego clashes on things that take the better of situations at times. But if you want things to work, you need to just drop your egos and go down to each other’s level.

    Communication IS the key, and when you discuss things with each other, it resolves all major problems. I agree about having your own quiet time with each other for the same, separate from your family and kid’s.

    Yes indeed, listening to each other is vital in any relationship, especially to your husband as he will feel he is being valued then. Affection and sex is surely a part and that brings a couple together, though it takes a back seat with men when works on their mind. In such cases it’s the wives responsibility then (and other way round too) that she eases him out and relaxes him. Yes, men have sex on their mind, but not all of them, sometimes it works the other way round too 😉

    I agree about the appreciation part, something that men need – for the work they do. Yes, women need it too and so does everyone else. But men feel nice and have a sense of achievement when it comes from their spouse.

    Thanks for sharing these wonderful ways to follow, which are surely going to help keep your man yours forever. 🙂
    Harleena Singh recently posted…12 Easy Ways to Save Money During the HolidaysMy Profile

    • Hi Harleena,

      Yes, that ego can get in the way of relationships and marriage. The ego can get in the way of seeing a clear picture when different situation come up. I’m with you’ Drop the EGO’.

      When it comes to my hubby and his work I have found when I get him to talk about it, he relaxes and lets go of it more. Sometimes he even finds a solution to a problem by talking about it and having someone to listen. I don’t always understand everything, but at the same time everytime he talks about work I learn a little more.

      The appreciation goes a long way. When I appreciate all his hard work, I have found he appreciate what I do more.
      Thank for adding to the post. Love your inside on things.
      Debbie

  2. Dear Debbie –

    Great article. You are getting smarter every day.

    I agree that women need the attention too. Although we are usually less inclined to cheat.

    But I do think that your ideas would make a big differnce in men.

    It’s a lot of trouble for them to cheat and they are basically lazy,
    Corinne Edwards recently posted…INTRODUCTION – A Woman Without A Man – on AmazonMy Profile

    • Thank you Corinne. For the smarter part and for visiting me. You make me smile!!!

      Yes, men can be basically lazy, guess that is why God gave us the ability to be good motivaters.

      I think a woman is more abt to cheat if hubby is married to his job. never spends time with her. As this idea that if she has money to spend she is going to be happy. He doesn’t stop to think and realize that life needs a balance. Work and no play can turn into a cheatin game.

      What every relationship needs is love and good companionship.
      Thank you for sharing and as for smart, will wisdom comes with age is the way I see it. You see and learn from the mistakes you have made and you do get smarter.
      Have a great day,
      Debbie

  3. A great post Debbie – full o f great communication tips. I like your advice to listen more and to talk less. Something think I need to heed a bit more!
    Carolyn Hughes recently posted…Courage to heal.My Profile

    • Hi Carolyn,

      I know what you mean Carolyn I have had to learn to listen more instead of talking to much. Communication is the key to great relationships. Whether those are relationships with parents, children, friends,co-workers or anyone. You have to have communication.
      thank you for sharing and have a great day.
      Debbie

  4. Great tips Debbie! It is so important to keep trying after the marriage, not just before. We can all take things for granted, but to have a happy marriage, it does take effort and work. It’s fun to be unexpected at times as to keep things interesting. Wonderful post for all us who are married. Thanks for sharing.
    Cathy recently posted…Is Your Child Ready to Go Off to College?My Profile

    • Debbie Bills
      Twitter:
      says:

      Hi Cathy,

      Those unexpected things can be fun and they put excitement in a marriage. Thank you for sharing this and adding to the post, Cathy.

      Marriage has to be tended to like a garden.
      Thanks again,
      Debbie

  5. If men ARE this different and this unflattering, why bother to get near them in the first place?

    My initial reaction after reading through the post and comments … lol …

    Seriously, we’re in this together. I takes two to tango. To not dance – no fun! With whom to dance? The Mars/Venus thing, I understand it’s popular, but don’t see too many people talk it.

    “Should I dance with this ‘thing’ over there? It says it’s from a different planet.”
    “Whose decision is it?”

    Mars/Venus might be a success formula, but I don’t think it works. If it did, we’d now have “Mars/Venus” books like we have “for Dummies” books – on everything. “Mars/Mars” for same-sex relationships, followed by “Venus/Venus”. “Whites Are From Saturn, Blacks Are From Mercury”? “Jews from this, Arabs from that.” You get the drift. It wouldn’t work – because it doesn’t. Two dancing the tango, does.

    PS. I’m easily touched by – thanks to the internet and YouTube! – the many videos of cat-loves-bird,-hippo-loves-swan-dog-loves-horse-pig-loves-fox. What’s going through these animals’ minds? [If they’d read books they’d stop doing it :-]
    Beat Schindler recently posted…The Zen Of DecisionsMy Profile

    • Debbie Bills
      Twitter:
      says:

      Hi Beat,

      Yes, we are in this together. Total agree with this, Beat. What i get upset with is that I hear women complain about their man. There is one important thing that I learned from the book Mars/Venus is that when a man loves he puts all is eggs in one basket. That woman is his life. Women can scatter there eggs all over. Children, hubby, friends, family.

      We as women have to respect this about men. When we comprehend that we are the center of their world and learn to love them and treat them with respect it makes a great difference in our relationships with them.
      What I have found in my own marriage is that the more love I show hubby the more love he shows me.

      To me the difference between men and women is very cool, I love learning how men think and react. As a couple if you put diffences together you have a strong relationship. You can draw strengh from each other. Where one is strong the other is weaker. Hope i explained that right.

      Thank you for sharing as for animals, I sometimes wish I knew what was going through their minds too.
      Debbie

  6. Debbie,

    Where can I find a women like this – they simply don’t exist.

    Change the word ‘woman’ to ‘man’ in your post and you can say exactly the same thing!

    Andrew
    Andrew recently posted…10 Tips To Put The Spark Back In To Your Blog WritingMy Profile

    • Debbie Bills
      Twitter:
      says:

      Hi Andrew,

      Come on Andrew I believe you have one, just ask her. LOL My point is when we as women are like this with our man, he does become come like this. The nicer i treat and try to understand my hubby the more he tries to do the same.

      it is like meeting a stranger if you smile at them, 9 chances out 10 they are going to smile back, if you frown at them you are most likely going to get the same.

      It comes down to love others like you want to be loved and you will be loved like you deserve to be loved. There are some exceptions to the rule. No that one first hand, but that is another post. LOL

      By the way I do exits, but I am not perfect by allo means. I have my moments, especialy when I need to eat! 🙂

      Thanks for the smile
      Debbie

  7. Awesome Debbie. I MUST ask my girlfriend to read your post. She needs to know all these priceless tips you’ve shared.

    • Debbie Bills
      Twitter:
      says:

      Hi Raymond,

      Hope your girlfriend does read these tips, because to me you seem like a very gentle man and deserve the best. Thank you ver sharing your thoughts. They are always appreciated.
      Debbie

  8. It’s important that both partners take care to address the needs of the other. I think a good rule of thumb is to seek to act in the best interests of your partner.

  9. You nailed this one. It takes 100% effort by both people in a relationship. We take the relationship for granted and people on the prowl sense the problem in our mates or in us. No one is immune from feeling good and that “Rush” from new relationships. We feel like we have awakened from a long sleep and are “ready for it” then we justify it with fault finding and finger pointing. My friend AnneVPAC calls it the license to sin. We feel we deserve it, we have been good so long and what did it get us is the rationale. Ask Tiger Woods and others like him. You don’t have a license because you now feel “alive”. I loved this post. Thanks.
    Bruce recently posted…What is the best college major for Pre-PA students?My Profile

    • Debbie Bills
      Twitter:
      says:

      Hi Bruce,

      Thank you very much. It does take a 100% by both people in a realtionship. You are right that people can sense the problem in our mate and they are ready to jumb right it.

      Thank you for adding to this most with your thoughts. It is appreciated, Bruce.
      Have a great day,
      Debbie

  10. Great tips Debbie, your posts always make me smile but have serious points behind them. I think there’s a lot both men and women can take from the post – is it rude to forward this to my wife….?!
    Joel recently posted…How An IT Professional Can Help Develop Your BusinessMy Profile

    • Debbie Bills
      Twitter:
      says:

      Hi Joel,

      Thank you Joel and i love it when i can make you smile. No it would not be rude to forward this to your wife, I would start by asking her opinion of it. That way you get the conversation going.

      Thank you again and let me know if she thinks I am full of crap. 🙂
      Debbie

  11. Thanks for this post Debbie,

    it is always good to remind ourselves not to take our loved ones for granted. It is easy to take some things for granted, and your tips can be applied to almost any close relationship or friendship (except for the sex-for most people anyway). Continuing to show respect, caring, appreciation and love is important.

    Anne
    Anne Vaillancourt recently posted…THERMOGRAPHY FOR BREAST CANCER SCREENINGMy Profile

    • Debbie Bills
      Twitter:
      says:

      Hi Anne,

      Continuing to show respect, caring appreciation and love are always important if you want your relationship to work. We should never take our relationships for grant. I always tell myself, ‘I don’t like to be taken for grant, so I better not take others for grant.’
      Thank you for stopping by and adding your thoughts to my post. You are appreciated.
      Debbie

  12. Love your list here Debbie. Relationships are work period. Many people don’t want to hear that but it is true. I have done personal experiments in many of my relationships and I can tell you that relationships work well when we do the necessary work to maintain them.

    Take care.
    Justin recently posted…Read This if You Want to Survive 2012My Profile

    • Hi Justin,

      Great to see you again. Thanks for stopping by and the kind words. Glad you loved the post. Maintain is the key. I like the way you put that. What kind of personal experiments have you done with your relationships? Sounds very interesting. Would love to hear about them.

      Thanks again, Justin.
      Debbie

  13. Shorya Bist says:

    Hi Debbie,

    First time i visited your blog and the article which i read now has impressed me.The points which you have mentioned in the article is really very effective.

    I liked your points because it more focus on two things
    Strong Communtication
    Giving love and importance

    These two aspect can never make any man cheat on his wife.

    Thank You
    Shorya Bist
    From Youthofest

    • Debbie Bills
      Twitter:
      says:

      Hi Shorya, Nice to have you stop by. Communication and giving and showing love are very important. Thank you for sharing these thoughts and the important parts you saw in my post.

      Thanks again,
      Debbie

  14. Oh, that is true! Too bad that so many couples take love and care for granted. I guess that is the most common mistake. Marriage is a hard work and not only for women! Men, please, be good this new year))) Take a good care of your wives! they deserve it!
    PS. Lovely post! Made me thing about many things)

  15. This is great, Debbie!

    We men can be simple folk. A little respect mixed in with some affection and a few kind words and we’re largely happy (and loyal) campers. Perhaps a tad simplified, but not by much! 🙂

    Seriously though, I think a sense of humor is so important. Marriage can start feeling like a chore if there isn’t regular laughter. As soon as we take ourselves and our opinions about everything too seriously, we start to send signals to our spouses that they have become yet another task to be checked off. Not a very compelling way to keep others from emotionally straying.

    Nicely done, Debbie!
    Ken Wert recently posted…The Happiness PledgeMy Profile

    • Debbie Bills
      Twitter:
      says:

      Love the way you added to the post Ken. You are right men are simple folks and us ladies need to appreciate that.
      As for humor, laughter always helps, it is very important. Life is to short to take so serious.

      Thanks again for sharing these thoughts and adding to the post.

      Happy New Year,
      Debbie

  16. good points Debbie, ill also add , chose the right man because the wrong choice can result in a cheating problem as well, thanks!
    farouk recently posted…Understanding jealousy in men and womenMy Profile

    • Debbie Bills
      Twitter:
      says:

      Hi Farouk,

      Thanks for adding to the post. Chosing the right person does make all the difference in the wrong. Chosing the wrong person is like chosing to go down the wrong street. It can turn into a dead end street.
      Thanks again and have a Happy New year.
      Debbie

  17. That is good post women can try all of it. I can learn from it too.

  18. It seems like you have a lot of experience dealing with this particular type of man.
    levon recently posted…Why do men go on dating sites when in a relationshipMy Profile

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